Sheer boredom

Unlike many people, my boredom results in asinine (and dull) ideas. Last weekend I had the brilliant idea of interviewing my husband. I was hoping it would turn out brilliantly insightful, but it wasn't. However, it did remind me of how lucky I am to have such an awesome, awesome husband. The following is (mostly) a word for word transcription.

A = Amanda
H = Husband

A: What’s it like being married to a knitter?

H: I think it like being married to… a crackhead. Because you’re always thinking about knitting- there’s knitting shows on, there’s knitting stuff all over the house, and a knitter tends to disappear in the middle of the day and come back with knitting things. So it’s kind of like being married to an addict.



A: What do you like most about being married to a knitter?

H: I like that you have a hobby or interest that you truly enjoy, and spend time doing.



A: What do you like least?

H: The yarn stuff all around the house. I don’t like picking it up and I don’t like it hanging in weird places, because of my personality.



A: Do you think I have too much yarn?

H: That would be like me saying I have too many toys. If you’re really interested in something, then you really can’t have too much. If you’re just wasting time and money by collecting it and not using it, then you have too much. But if you plan on using it and making things out of it, then how can you have too much?



A: Is there any point at which you would ask me to stop buying yarn?

H: If your yarn purchasing cut into our food budget, or into our medical care money, or if I found that you were dipping into our future savings to fund knitting then I would probably say something.



A: What were your honest thoughts the first time I spent like $200 on yarn at one time?

H: My honest thoughts were “Wow, that’s pretty silly.” But then of course I think about the times that I’ve spent sometimes thousands on hobbies for myself, so it’s really nothing I can criticize.



A: Why do you think that other knitters’ husbands aren’t as understanding?

H: I didn’t know they weren’t. I didn’t know that knitting was something that somebody should be concerned about.



A: Does it annoy you when I talk about yarn and knitting a lot?

H: It doesn’t annoy me, it just goes right over my head. Not that I’m not interested in what you do, I don’t have any interest in knitting for myself. I’m interested that you like it, and that you enjoy it, and I’m interested to hear that but I don’t understand it.



A: Have you learned anything from my incessant babbling?

H: I’ve learned knitting terms like the difference between skeins and hanks, when before I didn’t know there was anything other that a ball. I learned that it involves tools, just like any other hobby, and that some of them are specific tools to do specific jobs, which is very much like the things I do. It’s just like golf clubs- I have specific golf clubs to do specific jobs. Before, knitting was just some sticks and some yarn, but now I know that apparently there’s more to it.



A: If I knitted you something and you hated it, how would you respond?

H: I would say thank you. Because I know that it makes a lot of work to make it. Being what knitting is, it’s not so much the object that you make, but the thought and time that you put into it. Unless it was horrible. If you knit me a thong, or if you knit me a vest, I’ll just give you the finger.



A: Is there anything specific that you want me to knit for you?

H: I would one day like a true winter sweater. The one that you made me is nice, but it’s not really a warm, outdoorsy sweater. So like a wool sweater, kind of along the lines of something I would wear normally. Some of the sweaters I had where the stitch was so dense, that it doesn’t really look like its knit- that’s the kind I like because they’re warm and functional. So one day I’d like a sweater that I could go outside and hike in.



A: Would it bother you if I started bringing my knitting everywhere with me? Like to dinner and the movies?

H: I would probably draw the line at dinner, because some of those times we should probably be having a conversation, and sometimes when you knit we’re not going to communicate. So I would probably draw the line at times when we’re going to interact. I you want to knit during a movie, I don’t care.



A: For wives whose husbands are critical of their yarn habit, what can they say to their husbands to get them to understand?

H: $%#@ off! Tell them to go look in the garage, and in the rec room and tell me that they don’t have an amalgam of stuff that equals that kind of money. That’s ridiculous. But also, I don’t know those women- they might have a serious problem for all I know.


What did I tell you? Awesome.